7 Ways to Communicate Effectively With Herpes Dating Singles

Feb 25, 2022

Dating is stressful and when you have to worry about cold sores breaking out on your mouth, things can get tricky. While blisters caused by herpes are unsightly and painful they can also be contagious. So what does this mean for your dating life or intimacy? How do you tell your partner you have herpes? Is herpes dating even possible? Even though discussing health issues isn’t sexy it is necessary. It would help if you considered a few things when communicating with your partner about herpes. As intimacy in your relationship progresses to oral and genital contact you will have to give your partner a heads up so you can make decisions about what you both feel comfortable doing. Open and honest communication with your partner can help you and them from catching an illness. With that being said, here’s how to talk to your partner about herpes.

Consider Whether You Need To Tell Them

Not all dates will progress into a relationship. Before you spill the beans about having genital herpes it’s vital to consider whether or not they should know. If you’ve been on a couple of dates with them and don’t think things will progress to a relationship or that you will be intimate there’s simply no need to tell them, and you can leave things as they are. Just remember that you don’t owe anyone a confession or an explanation if you’re not going to put them at risk of catching the herpes virus from you.

Practice Before You Tell Them

Even if you rarely experience outbreaks, you’ll have to have to tell your sexual partner about your status. During herpes dating, genital herpes can be easily spread from an infected person who doesn’t have visible symptoms of an outbreak. Letting someone you care about and want to have a future with that you’ve got herpes can feel complicated and stressful. However, herpes dating doesn’t have to be hard if you know how to address it. Try to practice ahead of time so you can get over the nervousness of telling your partner you’ve got herpes. Write down the key points you’d like to include then practice what you’d like to say to your partner in front of a mirror.

Stop Overthinking

The truth is that even though the physical manifestation of an outbreak can sometimes be seen as an annoyance the social effects of having herpes are something else. You tend to overanalyze and overthink your situation which could hurt your self-esteem and affect your ability to view the infection in context. Remember that you’re not the only one that has genital herpes. It’s extremely common and doesn’t mean your sex life has to come to an end.

Chat At the Right Moment

You have to consider the right moment to tell your partner you’ve got genital herpes. Pick a moment when none of you will be distracted. Even if the conversation doesn’t go as expected you have to improvise. The best time to tell your partner about your status during when considering herpes dating before you have any sexual contact. Even if you don’t have an outbreak, the risk of transmission is real. When you see that you might get intimate soon you have to lay out your plan to let them know what’s on your mind. If your date invites you home after a date and sends a signal that they’d like to escalate the relationship, you should get the conversation out of the way.

Be Direct And Give No Apologies

Pretend to be your partner for a minute. What would you prefer someone to tell you? Unfortunately, most people would go the wrong way and say: ‘I have to tell you something that means a big deal to our relationship and future. I’m sorry that I have to tell you this, but I’ve got genital herpes.’ It would sound much better if you tried saying: ‘Before we proceed any further with our relationship, I have to tell you something. I’ve got genital herpes. I am open to having a relationship with you, but we have to figure out a way forward together.’ The second statement lets your partner know you have herpes and is framed better than the second. The truth is that no one should make herpes dating seem like a big deal. It’s easy to deal with. Even if you feel like having genital sores is inconvenient or irritating, you don’t need to be pessimistic about the whole situation. The first statement gives the virus too much power and makes you sound nervous and pessimistic. It makes the virus seem like something too serious to deal with, and that’s not what you want to present to your partner. You don’t have to make an apology to a love interest or your partner. Having genital herpes doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong. The only thing you need to do is tell your partner about your status directly and openly. Being direct about the conversation is a better way to be open and won’t backfire. It will also help you listen to their response and judge their reaction.

Offer More Information

Someone who cares about you and sees a future with you will most likely not reject you because of your status. During herpes dating, a potential partner might have some questions that you should be ready to answer. They might not know how the virus works and how it could affect them. At this point, you have to explain to them how traditional contraceptives such as condoms are always effective against viruses and how the virus relates to sexual activity. Share some information about how frequently your outbreaks occur and whether you’re taking medication. Transparency in communication is essential as you start a new relationship.

Conclusion

Even if you’ve got herpes, dating is possible, and you also can find love. Focus on having open and honest conversations with your partner and everything will be alright.