How to Navigate Dating with HSV
Aug 30, 2022
If you have contracted HSV, you may feel like you have a stain on your life. That&rsquo's not so! According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), it is estimated that nearly 50% of people aged 14-49 have HSV-1 and roughly 12% of people in the same age group have HSV-2.
If you have HSV, one of the things that might seem difficult to navigate is dating. Fortunately, it is possible for people with HSV to have both a healthy sex life and also a healthy dating life. There are just a couple of things you should keep in mind when you are dating HSV.
Communication is Key
Open and honest communication is a critical pillar in every relationship. If you have HSV and your partner does not, then being open about this is an important step to take before you make it to third base. You will have several opportunities to share this with your partner, and timing is very important.
As people living with HSV are aware, even though the chances of passing it to your partner are limited, especially when you are on medication, it still is a risk. For someone who does not have HSV, sharing this information with them might seem like a hindrance to your relationship. If you stick to telling them the facts, you are in the best shape. You never want to start any relationship out on false pretenses and if you tell your partner after you have been intimate, then distrust could quickly enter the relationship, which is why it is better to communicate this beforehand.
Be sure your partner is aware of the risks and also listen and watch for how they respond. Making sure everyone is on the same page from the beginning is key for starting out a relationship on the right foot.
It is important for them to understand HSV as best they can, while also understanding that it is natural to live with it. You do not want this to be a defining point in your relationship, so communicating candidly about your experiences and how you choose to live your life is important. Selecting the appropriate time to have this conversation is also important. You should try to make the conversation feel and flow as natural as possible, which will hopefully help alleviate anxiety and stress on both sides.
If you have HSV-2, being open and honest about breakouts is also important. If your partner is not that aware of HSV, being able to communicate the when, how, what, and why about things is important. But don’t let it get you down! Just because you are out of commission for a few days does not mean that your dating life is on pause. It can be equated to when a woman is on her monthly cycle. It is just a natural thing that occurs on a regular basis that needs to be mitigated.
Take Preventative Measures
Be sure to follow all preventative measures when you are in going through the dating process. These measures will not only help prevent the spread but will also let your partner know that you are aware and making strides towards protecting them. Being aware of the different preventative measures you can take is key, as being well informed on the topic helps with prevention and also education with your partners.
Taking steps and being prepared shows that you understand HSV and its implications of it, which for most partners, is a very fulfilling thing to know. Taking the necessary measures to prevent the spread will add substantially more value to any relationship than not doing so.
Don’t Let IT Kill Your Mojo
HSV is very common today! Just because you have been diagnosed does not mean that your world is over. It is only another layer to the cake, rather than the entire cake itself. It does not define who you are or your past. It is not a hindrance in your daily life. It is something you will earn to live with. A good partner will understand and respect this. Sharing this part of you does not have to be a topic for a first date, or even a second or third. Share only when you are ready, but ideally before you are intimate. This is something that you will get through together and it does not inhibit you or characterize you or define you in any way shape or form, so don’t let it get you down.
It is a lot easier to live with HSV than people who are not familiar with the subject matter might think. Not letting it define you and your life is important for maintaining positive mental health and positive relationships. Just like a women’s natural menstrual cycle, HSV can be a regular occurrence as well. However, dating is not only about sex. There are other things to do when you are temporarily out of commission, as HSV does not need to become a major trait in your relationship. So don't let it get you down. You are doing all you can and once you feel comfortable sharing this with your partner, your partner's reaction can even be a good test of the quality of partner they will be in the long term if this works out. Choose to look at the bright side rather than the negative, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, and don’t let it hold you back!