How to Date When You Have Herpes
Mar 30, 2022
When you have herpes, dating can seem like an impossible feat. After all, you’re afraid of rejection from potential partners and you feel guilty about having to disclose something that most people consider taboo. However, herpes doesn’t have to be the end of your romantic life—just make sure you do it right!
Here are some tips on how to date when you have herpes so that your love life can thrive once again.
What is herpes
Herpes is a sexually transmitted infection that is characterized by outbreaks of painful sores on and around sexual organs. There are two types of herpes simplex virus, type 1 (HSV-1) and type 2 (HSV-2). Most commonly, herpes affects the mouth or genitals. When it infects your mouth, it causes cold sores or fever blisters. When HSV-1 infects your genitals, it causes genital herpes.
In either case, herpes symptoms can be controlled with medication but will never go away completely. One in six people in America between 14 and 49 years old has genital herpes and doesn’t even know it!
Make sure to speak to a doctor, get tested, and acquire appropriate medications.
Tips on dating with herpes
For most people, herpes means never having a worry-free sexual encounter again. But if you’re dating with herpes, that doesn’t mean it can’t be stress-free. Knowing that effective treatments and medications are available may alleviate some of your fears and anxiety. Having herpes isn’t ideal—and no one expects it to make things simple—but here are some tips on dating with herpes that can make things just a little bit simpler in your relationship.
Be honest about having herpes before you have sex
When it comes to dating with herpes, being open and honest with potential partners is critical. While some people may be put off by your diagnosis at first, many come around once they realize that having herpes doesn’t mean anything serious. Dating with herpes means accepting yourself as a sexual person, which leads naturally to accepting other people as sexual beings too. It also means keeping an open dialogue about your health and your partner’s health; make sure you are fully disclosing all of your STI testing results to inform sexual activity safely and consensually. Never feel bad about taking these steps—you owe it to yourself (and anyone else involved) to take control of your sex life!
Reduce the risk of spread by using protection
Use condoms, dental dams, or other barriers between your mouth and genitals during sex. These can prevent the spread of herpes from infected areas of skin to uninfected areas. Use latex gloves if touching your partner’s genitals or using a sex toy that is shared between partners. This can prevent the transfer from one partner’s skin to another through small breaks in their skin.
Keep an open mind, let it go, and move on
Dating with herpes can be tricky. Once upon a time, people with herpes had no choice but to stay in their homes. Today, there's no need for that. With medication, stress reduction techniques, and an open mind, dating is just as much fun for someone with herpes as it is for someone without. There are also several online communities where people living with herpes can swap stories about dating and meet potential partners. If this sounds like something that you'd like to try, check out www.facebook.com/Community.MPWH/.
Summary
Don’t let a herpes diagnosis stop you from dating. The stigma surrounding herpes is real, but it doesn’t have to interfere with your dating life. It might seem like everyone is running away at first. But as soon as they know you better, they will love and accept you for who you are.
Having herpes sounds scary, but it's nothing serious. So, go out there and enjoy yourself! You deserve it.